I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
