i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
