is your mom at the bar?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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