I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
