..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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