I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
