If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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