You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there was a trapeze. enough said
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
