He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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