I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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