WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
