I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
