bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
