Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
