i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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