why didn't you poke me back
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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