I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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