1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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