Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
