In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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