Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
