told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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