Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
