Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
