Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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