i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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