My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
