I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
