Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
