i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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