He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
