It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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