I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
