Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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