i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
And then he peed in my hair
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