We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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