you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
