Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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