I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
