i think my tv is drunk
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
