I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
