I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
