I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
