her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
