what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
