WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
