i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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