Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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