I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
