the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
