Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
