He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
