He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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