I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
