I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
