Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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