He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize