I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It was confusing and full of hummus
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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