dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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