I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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